had a friend send this to me. i thought it was amusing. maybe you will too! it does have alot of good points 
The Bill of No Rights
We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid
any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior
and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time
to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal,
commie, pinko bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of
people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that
they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country
is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --
not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express
a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans
are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help
anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and kill you.
ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away
in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen
color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII
You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives
in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if
you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do
not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little
tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one,
and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid
before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you
have the right to pursue happiness -- which, by the way, is a lot easier
if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by
those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Copyright © Lewis W. Napper. All Rights Reserved.
------------------
fiat justitia
longhaircsa@netscape.net
The Bill of No Rights
We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid
any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior
and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time
to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal,
commie, pinko bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of
people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that
they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country
is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --
not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express
a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans
are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help
anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and kill you.
ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away
in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen
color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII
You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives
in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if
you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do
not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little
tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one,
and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid
before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you
have the right to pursue happiness -- which, by the way, is a lot easier
if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by
those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Copyright © Lewis W. Napper. All Rights Reserved.
------------------
fiat justitia
longhaircsa@netscape.net