Took my future bride target shooting for the first time with a 9mm. It scared her since it was her first time. It was all mental though and she had lots of preconceived ideas about KICK! That was my mistake starting her out w/that.
Next time, we shot 22 lr. out of revolver and semiauto. After a few shooting sessions of teaching firearms safety, handgun basics, and trying to come up w/fun targets, we moved up in caliber. I tried to keep targets close and keep it fun. It didn't take long for her to get to .45 ACP. Now she can outshoot me with anything we've tried so far. Recoil is not an issue anymore for this 98 pound lady that I have to hold onto on windy days.
One thing to keep in mind when shopping around is her figure in regards to conceiled carry. Since women are normally shaped differently from men, the dimensions and any sharp corners of the gun may have a different comfort level on you than on her with0 ITWB carry.
One thing that really helps in trying to decide are ranges and shops w/ranges that will allow you to rent used guns, as our friend here already said. Ask around and keep an eye open for times when shops may have representatives from gun manufacturers in to set up a display and offer to let you try out the latest at the range.
------------------
"But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip; and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." -Jesus Christ (Luke 22:36, see John 3:15-18)