38 special, non +P.....
Here's my rationalization..
357 mag, full titlt boogie 125 gr JHP, out of a 4 inch barrel, has the biggest, brightest, loudest blast of any handgun that we would consider carrying for protection. (Could we agree that 41/44 mag is a bit much?) When we shoot these beasts at the range we have ear plugs, head sets and glasses on to protect the shooter from the "Blast". At home, in a house, the blast would be like a shock grenade going off. That blast translates into "Shock" and the last thing we want is for the person in control of the gun to be shocked. That shock could prevent the shooter from getting off a rapid second shot. The subconcious fear of that shock could cause the shooter to "flinch". The shock may actually daze the shooter and give the bad guy the upper hand if the shooter missed.
I would recommend Federal Nyclad 125 grain non +P 38 special for in home protection.