Things have been so serious here to date and I've had a SOB (not to be confused with FUD) day and need a laugh! I've got the "hind-lick manuver" joke so don't post that one! I really need a laugh. I'm trying to shake the Lieberman whine from my memory and can't get rid of it. Post some good one's folks! We don't laugh enough!
Anybody got any new jokes? I could use a laugh!
- Thread starter sumabich
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Dennis Olson
New member
What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him.
Popeye almost killed him.
Well I just read this one.....Ill try and keep it clean.
Al and tipper were preparing for the presidential race and debates--algore's doing his homework and tipper decides to help out, so in preparation to go on stage with algore she's shaved her genitila bare and goes on stage with algore with no pantys on, sits their and with her dress hiked up and and her legs apart and her new slogan was, read my lips no more bush.....fubsy.
Al and tipper were preparing for the presidential race and debates--algore's doing his homework and tipper decides to help out, so in preparation to go on stage with algore she's shaved her genitila bare and goes on stage with algore with no pantys on, sits their and with her dress hiked up and and her legs apart and her new slogan was, read my lips no more bush.....fubsy.
From the Jeff Foxworthy calendar I got for by birthday:
You might be a redneck if.....
All your favorite shirts came with a 2 pack purchase of cigarettes.
Oct 13 - Your car used to be a police car.
Your bumper sticker says, "My child whipped your honor student's ass"
You own a flamingo with buckshot holes in it.
Your doctor prescribes moonshine as a painkiller.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
Your favorite kind of wine is strawberry.
There are 359 more, but I'm a slow typist.
You might be a redneck if.....
All your favorite shirts came with a 2 pack purchase of cigarettes.
Oct 13 - Your car used to be a police car.
Your bumper sticker says, "My child whipped your honor student's ass"
You own a flamingo with buckshot holes in it.
Your doctor prescribes moonshine as a painkiller.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
Your favorite kind of wine is strawberry.
There are 359 more, but I'm a slow typist.
This is a true story and better then any joke.It happened in a local gun shop.
Guy had his male rott along in the shop.Everyone sitting around shooting the bull and the rott laying on the floor licking his b**ls.Shop owner looked down saw it and said I wish I could do that.Dog owner says if you ask him nice he might let you.
Everyone busted up laughting.
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Bob--- Age and deceit will overcome youth and speed.
I'm old and deceitful.
Guy had his male rott along in the shop.Everyone sitting around shooting the bull and the rott laying on the floor licking his b**ls.Shop owner looked down saw it and said I wish I could do that.Dog owner says if you ask him nice he might let you.
Everyone busted up laughting.
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Bob--- Age and deceit will overcome youth and speed.
I'm old and deceitful.
paratrooper
New member
I'm sitting in the bar and the guy next to me says that he thinks he might be in deep doo doo . I ask why . He said that he had killed his wife that morning .
He said it was not any real loss since she weighed 350 pounds anyway . Man was I shocked . I asked why he did it . He said that she was bitching about him bringing his bike into the house and leaving it in the hallway where she would always trip on it . He said that he swore he would never bring it in the house again AND he really meant it but she kept running her mouth . So he said he killed her and buried her in the backyard . I just laughed since I didn't really believe him . He then asks me if I wanted to go see . I said O.K. and we walked about 2 blocks to his house .
Sure enough she was dead and buried in the backyard . He had buried her but left her big butt sticking out of the ground . I asked him why he did that . He said this way he had somewhere to park his bike .
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TOM
SASS AMERICAN LEGION NRA GOA
He said it was not any real loss since she weighed 350 pounds anyway . Man was I shocked . I asked why he did it . He said that she was bitching about him bringing his bike into the house and leaving it in the hallway where she would always trip on it . He said that he swore he would never bring it in the house again AND he really meant it but she kept running her mouth . So he said he killed her and buried her in the backyard . I just laughed since I didn't really believe him . He then asks me if I wanted to go see . I said O.K. and we walked about 2 blocks to his house .
Sure enough she was dead and buried in the backyard . He had buried her but left her big butt sticking out of the ground . I asked him why he did that . He said this way he had somewhere to park his bike .
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TOM
SASS AMERICAN LEGION NRA GOA
Head over to The Range House (a sister site of TheFiringLine devoted to off-topic discussions) -- I post some good ones (and some not so good ones) every couple of days plus a whole bunch of other (non-firearms related) interesting things to keep you amused. For other interesting things, you can stop by FUD's Fan Club (a site created by KaMaKaZe as a tribute to me) to read some of my past exploits.
FUD
The Range House co-moderator
[This message has been edited by FUD (edited October 14, 2000).]
FUD
The Range House co-moderator
[This message has been edited by FUD (edited October 14, 2000).]
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