A Story Bound to Amuse Sgt. PC -- Gunny Schmidbauer

O

Oscar

New member
Nativity Angels Disarmed After Negative Publicity
By Patrick Goodenough
CNS London Bureau Chief
08 December, 1999

London (CNSNews.com) - In an attempt to make the Christian faith "relevant" 2,000 years after Jesus' birth, a British church is planning a nativity play with a James Bond theme, featuring black-clad "special agent" angels engaged in "Operation Emmanuel."

Earlier plans for the angels to be armed with plastic imitations of Bond's particular weapon of choice, the Walther PPK, and gun down anyone who opposed the spreading of the news of the Messiah's birth was abandoned after negative media publicity. Some reports dubbed the play "Godfinger."

A spokesman for Anglican Archbishop George Carey - in whose diocese the church falls - said the archbishop had voiced concerns.

The play's director, Alis Vile, said the idea was simply to use the modern equivalent of the fiery swords the Bible says angels wielded.

"People should realize that angels are not fairies ... angels are not tutued and tinseled little cherubs of most nativity plays, but God's warriors."

"There was a suggestion that the angels should be armed like 007, but there will be no gun-toting on stage," Vile said.

The reworked plot was an attempt to make the nativity story relevant to the 10 to 14-year-olds involved in the play, to be staged at an Anglican church in Canterbury on December 19.

The church's curate, Phil Cansdale, said the modern retelling of the Christmas story "brings relevance to the story in an age when many people are saying the Church is irrelevant."
 
Huh. I always thought angels carried swords (ref 'Rose Is Rose' and 'Prophecy'), not PPKs. ;)

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"The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it."
-- John Hay, 1872
 
I think the Archangels Michael and Metatron might have a problem with being disarmed. And when they have a problem, everybody has a problem!
 
Or fire, brimstone, flood, famine, disease, pestilence - whatever is needed.
Remember the power behind the sword.
 
Dennis, we already have disease and pestilence.

(pregnant pause)

We just can't seem to get rid of these wretched Democrats, no matter how much Lysol we use.

Thank you, and good night. :)

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"The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it."
-- John Hay, 1872
 
I agree that the angels shouldn't be using "Bond guns". They should be carrying M4s and HKs. After all, the sword was the high-tech small arm standard of it's day just as these weapons are nowadays. If you're going to update, update correctly. :)(Plus a Les Baer HRT 1911 in a thigh rig of course) :D
 
I LOVE it!!!

But angels don't need no stinking gun (or sword, etc). If I was doing the play when the angels came up against a "bad" guy, they would just point their finger at them.

When that happened, there would be a big flash and a lot of smoke. When it cleared all that would be there is a pile of ash say about 1 foot high.

(this effect would be accomplished with the use of BP for the flash & smoke, the actor would be standing on an "elevator" on the stage. When the smoke obscured everyones view of him the elevator would drop below the stage, actor would jump off while ash was being dumped on and the elevator returned to the stage).

Now that would be KOOL!

Almost as good as what I've been wanting to do for Holloween for a trick instead of giving treats. But my wife wouldn't let me. :(


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Schmit, GySgt, USMC(Ret)
NRA Life, Lodge 1201-UOSSS
"Si vis Pacem Para Bellum"

OH... what is this "Sgt. PC" crap? Exactly what have I posted that was PC?!? ;)



[This message has been edited by David Schmidbauer (edited December 10, 1999).]
 
Schmit,
The next time I head up your way, remind me to bring my flashpot and show you how it works. Awesome flash and smoke, and no black powder used. Whatever the compound is, it ignites much faster and brighter, and creates more smoke. 1/4 tsp gives the desired result; we'll have to try a full teaspoon. :) :)

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Shoot straight regards, Richard at The Shottist's Center http://forums.delphi.com/m/main.asp?sigdir=45acp45lc
 
Dear Gunny Schmidbauer,

Somehow I knew the "Sgt PC" nickname would get a rise out of you. You are clearly a very talented (albeit latent) playwright. What the hell job are you wasting away in today? To think, you could be bringing joy to so many people if you would put your true talents to work.

Best wishes to your wife and those good-looking, sharp-shooting kids,

Oscar
 
Oscar,

If you think my previous stuff has been PC how about the following. Not only won't my wife help me pull this off but there are other consequences to think of in this day and age (phycological problems for the kiddies and more then likely, police intervention).

OK, a kid or group of kids start heading up my walkway for Trick or Treat (key word being Trick). Watching through the window I see this and my wife (or another "actor") and I start having an argument, VERY LOUDLY. We are yelling at each other over something (no swearing!!) when the kids arrive and say "TRICK OR TREAT!". Upon hearing this I tell her I have to get the door and I don't want anything further to do with her.

I start walking to the door while she starts screaming something along the lines (don't have a complete script yet) "You going to leave ME? You got another thing comming. I'll give you something to HELP you Leave!"

As I get to the door, which has a glass storm door, she pulls out a handgun (loaded with blanks) and pops of 1 single found. (she will be in the other room about 15 yards away but be able to be seen from the kiddies perspective. She will be firing at the wall between us)

I, upon hearing the shot, spit out a mouth full of fake blood onto the glass of the storm door. Then I fall to my knees, lean against the door and with my face "sliding" against the glass (smearing the blood) fall to the ground. Of course my face is made up with actors makeup to look as though there is a hole in the front of it... maybe even with some fake brains hanging on my cheek.

I, in my warped sense, think this would be a GREAT TRICK and would scare the HELL out of the kiddies. :)

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Schmit, GySgt, USMC(Ret)
NRA Life, Lodge 1201-UOSSS
"Si vis Pacem Para Bellum"


[This message has been edited by David Schmidbauer (edited December 13, 1999).]
 
Schmit, great idea but the logistics of notifying your local P.D, SWAT team, FBI, BATF, etc etc on the matter of it being a "trick" might prove interesting, then there's the 20yrs of counselling for the kiddies that you'd be paying for !... ;)

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"The Gun from Down Under !"
http://www.para1911fanclub.w3.to/
E-mail hotshot_2000@hotmail.com
Alternate E-mail
HS2000@ausi.com
 
HS,
What about counseling for all us TFLers that have to learn to live with all these wholesome images Gunny is planting in our brains?

Gunny,
You are terminally NON-PC and one desparately sick mofo. Keep up the good work!

Oscar

P.S. I'll just send pictures of my kids at Halloween. Your plot may even succeed at making the pictures puke.

[This message has been edited by Oscar (edited December 13, 1999).]
 
Gunny,

You are one sick, sick puppy. I'm glad my kids don't Trick or Treat in your neighborhood.

By the way, thanks for the idea. ;)


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RKBA!

"The people have the right to bear arms for their defense and security"
Ohio Constitution, Article I, Section 4
Concealed Carry is illegal in Ohio.
Ohioans for Concealed Carry Website
 
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