Not mine, but I certainly agree with it!
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>A Letter to Our Rulers
by Sirlee Yughoak
Dear President Clinton, Congress, and elected officials and bureaucratic dudes everywhere,
Now that we're in the holiday season, I've been thinking a lot about all I have to be thankful for, and the many wonderful things our government does. There are so many things to acknowledge, this letter would be huge if I tried to just mention them all! So I'll try to cover the big things—you can figure out the rest. After all, you people are so much smarter than us ordinary folks—that's why you get elected, to help us live our lives. We sure wouldn't be able to do it without your laws and offices and forms… There's my first thank you! Thank you, elected officials and state agencies, for existing, cuz without you I'm sure my family and I, and everyone else in the freest country in the world, would be totally helpless.
Mr. President, thank you for understanding that Americans really aren't interested in more tax cuts. I mean, we sure don't need that extra money in my family, my mom and dad like working their jobs for 50 hours a week. Besides, without that tax money, I probably won't get any financial aid when I go to college next year! Sure, Mom and Dad bitch about not being home much—they think that if they'd been home, they'd have somehow been able to stop my 14-year-old sister from getting knocked up. But I know the real reason why that happened: she didn't listen to your testimony, and doesn't know the difference between a "sexual relationship", "sexual contact", "inappropriate sexual contact", and "sex". Uh-oh, I got a little off track here… anyway, my English teacher says to thank you for making her work teaching us the precise meanings of words much easier to.
Congress, thank you for trying to cut taxes. Yeah, I just thanked President Clinton for the opposite thing, but I know that you offered to do it cuz you care so much about us. You know that the tiny bit you wanted to cut, spread over years and years, would make a huge difference to every American. You're thoughtfulness brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it…but I know that farmers need to keep getting their subsidies, especially tobacco farmers, cuz the FDA and Surgeon General are trying like crazy to put them out of work. Like, if they spend more money than you do to help the farmers, the farmers would probably lose their jobs! And there wouldn't be any more Surgeon General warnings…no more cool billboards around town, no more hot race cars with cigarette logos on them, no reasons for store clerks to demand any ID when I—er, my dad—buys cigarettes. Loosing all that would definately hurt the economy, so it's better that my tax money goes to the tobacco farmers and the FDA.
Speaking of my tax money, thanks, IRS, for that cool Taxi site! I wasn't all that interested in working until I browsed it one day—I had a hard time finding it though, cuz my school has all these rules about what kinds of sites kids can and can't see (would you believe it, they won't let us go to any Web sites that show the Bill of Rights! I wonder why that is…), and the NetCensor almost blocked it, but I finally did see it. It made me so excited about paying my fair share that I went out and got a part-time job flipping burgers. The job isn't that great, but it isn't so bad either, and I feel great about almost half of my paycheck going to federal, state, and local taxes. I hoped to have some money saved for college by now, but cuz my state says I can't work after 10 p.m., I'm not getting the hours I thought I would, and my car insurance and gasoline take almost all the money I am allowed to keep. I had no idea this state taxes gas so much! So, cuz I'm doing my duty, IRS dudes, do you think you can pull some ropes for me and get me some student aid for college? ?
Gosh, I'm already on the second page of this letter and haven't got to state and local governments yet! Quickly, thanks, Uncle Sam, for bombing my pen pal in Serbia—in his last letter he said that it was working, things are much more peaceful their now—since I have a job I don't have time to write him much any more, so it's probably better that he's living under a heap of rubble somewhere. Thanks for welfare—Sis will sure need it, and I hope you won't hold my folks' income against her when her baby comes. Thanks for protecting us, FDA, DoA, DEA, from all the nasty things that evil businessmen would make us eat, drink, and use without you all standing guard. Thanks, FBI, BATF, and the other guys who sometimes work with you, for keeping our country safe from terrorists, and from weirdos here, like those Davidians. Torching the kids to protect them from David Koresh was pure genius! Thanks again, IRS, for being the nice, fair guys who makes all this other stuff happen… (no, I'm not trying to suck up here. I recognize how you people are the ones who make all the rest work. Yet, for some strange reason, most folks don't seem to appreciate you.)
Thanks to my state government for passing a curfew law this year. I sure feel safer without the bad kids running around after 10 o'clock, even though it means I only get a few hours of work in a week. Hey, you guys can't tell the good kids from the bad ones—and most of us teens are irresponsible anyway, I admit—so you did what you had to do to make people safe. That and the law my town passed making it illegal for kids to skateboard, rollerblade, or ride bikes on the sidewalks, and the newest law making it illegal for "gangs" of teens to assemble in any public place, have really made our lives much more enjoyable. I don't have to worry about trying to be cool in a bunch of kids any more, heck, since my friends and I can't do anything outside our own houses anymore we just kick back and watch videos or MTV at home in our free time. I'm sure that'll also help us do well in college and get good jobs later on.
Thanks also, State Gov, for making my school use the Mosaic thingy. Even though I—an honors student, with a job and several extracurricular activities—am now seeing a school counselor every week cuz I am "at risk for violence", just cuz my dad took me target shooting sometimes before guns became illegal here (thanks for that, Town Gov), I know that it's purpose is to protect us from the dangerous kids, and that sometimes good kids get tagged, too. Counseling isn't nearly as much fun as Junior Achievement—I guess my business idea can wait another year—but I understand how just knowing how to handle a gun makes me dangerous.
I also don't hold you guys responsible for the kid who brought his dad's gun into school and killed my best friend and all those others. The metal detectors can make mistakes, Mosaic can make mistakes, and hey, people break laws—it just happens. Without all the laws and protection stuff, he could have done much worse stuff, so thanks for doing your best to protect us, and thanks for being so quick to write new laws to protect us even more. The gun- and drug-sniffing dogs will make school much safer, I'm sure. One question, though, if the random urine testing of school kids goes through, does it really mean that I'll have to stop eating poppy seed bagels? That's my favorite breakfast, and it'd really suck not to be able to snarf 'em for the rest of the school year.
Speaking of school, I really want to thank the School Board, administrators, principal, vice- principals, school psychologists and counselors, and the teachers for all their hard work to educate me. There are so many of you compared to us kids that I feel lucky to have you working so hard on my education. The remodeling of the administrative offices sure looks nice. When will be getting those new textbooks that the school levy was passed for, by the way? Having a history book that stops right after we got a man on the moon is kind of a bummer, you know? I want to know what other great things our government did in space between then and the space shuttle; I'm sure there are lots of them.
Uhhh, this letter is getting way to long, and I've barely gotten to all the stuff I wanted to say, so I'll just mention a few more things here. Thanks for kicking out that student who gave her friend a Tylenol. Zero tolerance means zero tolerance, and if people start acting like they're above the law, well, the law won't mean anything. And thanks for not publishing the editorial in the school newspaper that criticized you, Mr. Principal, for expelling her, and that supposedly called for a protest. How can us students learn anything if we have stuff like that to read in the paper? I heard that the student editor was really pissed, and claimed that his "first amendment rights" were violated. What did he mean by that? Do you think his parents actually let him read the Constitution and Bill of Rights? If so, I think that's a shame…that they don't trust the school to educate him. Besides, everyone knows that parents can't teach kids; teachers have to be certified and tested by the government. The new dress code really makes a difference, too, I do kinda miss seeing some of the cool t-shirts, but I really don't mind the scratchy polyester skirt, nor the medicine I have to put on my legs to keep my rash from it under control. It's worth it to keep me safe from nasty words and ideas. Most of all, thanks school, for teaching me how good we have it, and how I have to do my part to keep our great system working for future generations.
Anyway, BIG thanks to everybody at Federal Gov, State Gov, and Local Gov, and all your bureaucratic dudes, for all that you do too make this country great! Looking back on this letter, I realize how fortunate I am to live in such a free country, and to have such a great school taking such good care of me. Hey, Pres and Congress, can you pass some more laws to make sure that I'll be as protected out in the "real world" as I am now? To me, it looks like a scary place out their, and without you all telling me what's safe to eat and drink, what I can and can't do, and how to dress and where to go when, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it all.
Happy holidays from your satisfied citizen!
Sirlee Yughoak, high school senior
[/quote]
------------------
John/az
"The middle of the road between the extremes of good and evil, is evil. When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>A Letter to Our Rulers
by Sirlee Yughoak
Dear President Clinton, Congress, and elected officials and bureaucratic dudes everywhere,
Now that we're in the holiday season, I've been thinking a lot about all I have to be thankful for, and the many wonderful things our government does. There are so many things to acknowledge, this letter would be huge if I tried to just mention them all! So I'll try to cover the big things—you can figure out the rest. After all, you people are so much smarter than us ordinary folks—that's why you get elected, to help us live our lives. We sure wouldn't be able to do it without your laws and offices and forms… There's my first thank you! Thank you, elected officials and state agencies, for existing, cuz without you I'm sure my family and I, and everyone else in the freest country in the world, would be totally helpless.
Mr. President, thank you for understanding that Americans really aren't interested in more tax cuts. I mean, we sure don't need that extra money in my family, my mom and dad like working their jobs for 50 hours a week. Besides, without that tax money, I probably won't get any financial aid when I go to college next year! Sure, Mom and Dad bitch about not being home much—they think that if they'd been home, they'd have somehow been able to stop my 14-year-old sister from getting knocked up. But I know the real reason why that happened: she didn't listen to your testimony, and doesn't know the difference between a "sexual relationship", "sexual contact", "inappropriate sexual contact", and "sex". Uh-oh, I got a little off track here… anyway, my English teacher says to thank you for making her work teaching us the precise meanings of words much easier to.
Congress, thank you for trying to cut taxes. Yeah, I just thanked President Clinton for the opposite thing, but I know that you offered to do it cuz you care so much about us. You know that the tiny bit you wanted to cut, spread over years and years, would make a huge difference to every American. You're thoughtfulness brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it…but I know that farmers need to keep getting their subsidies, especially tobacco farmers, cuz the FDA and Surgeon General are trying like crazy to put them out of work. Like, if they spend more money than you do to help the farmers, the farmers would probably lose their jobs! And there wouldn't be any more Surgeon General warnings…no more cool billboards around town, no more hot race cars with cigarette logos on them, no reasons for store clerks to demand any ID when I—er, my dad—buys cigarettes. Loosing all that would definately hurt the economy, so it's better that my tax money goes to the tobacco farmers and the FDA.
Speaking of my tax money, thanks, IRS, for that cool Taxi site! I wasn't all that interested in working until I browsed it one day—I had a hard time finding it though, cuz my school has all these rules about what kinds of sites kids can and can't see (would you believe it, they won't let us go to any Web sites that show the Bill of Rights! I wonder why that is…), and the NetCensor almost blocked it, but I finally did see it. It made me so excited about paying my fair share that I went out and got a part-time job flipping burgers. The job isn't that great, but it isn't so bad either, and I feel great about almost half of my paycheck going to federal, state, and local taxes. I hoped to have some money saved for college by now, but cuz my state says I can't work after 10 p.m., I'm not getting the hours I thought I would, and my car insurance and gasoline take almost all the money I am allowed to keep. I had no idea this state taxes gas so much! So, cuz I'm doing my duty, IRS dudes, do you think you can pull some ropes for me and get me some student aid for college? ?
Gosh, I'm already on the second page of this letter and haven't got to state and local governments yet! Quickly, thanks, Uncle Sam, for bombing my pen pal in Serbia—in his last letter he said that it was working, things are much more peaceful their now—since I have a job I don't have time to write him much any more, so it's probably better that he's living under a heap of rubble somewhere. Thanks for welfare—Sis will sure need it, and I hope you won't hold my folks' income against her when her baby comes. Thanks for protecting us, FDA, DoA, DEA, from all the nasty things that evil businessmen would make us eat, drink, and use without you all standing guard. Thanks, FBI, BATF, and the other guys who sometimes work with you, for keeping our country safe from terrorists, and from weirdos here, like those Davidians. Torching the kids to protect them from David Koresh was pure genius! Thanks again, IRS, for being the nice, fair guys who makes all this other stuff happen… (no, I'm not trying to suck up here. I recognize how you people are the ones who make all the rest work. Yet, for some strange reason, most folks don't seem to appreciate you.)
Thanks to my state government for passing a curfew law this year. I sure feel safer without the bad kids running around after 10 o'clock, even though it means I only get a few hours of work in a week. Hey, you guys can't tell the good kids from the bad ones—and most of us teens are irresponsible anyway, I admit—so you did what you had to do to make people safe. That and the law my town passed making it illegal for kids to skateboard, rollerblade, or ride bikes on the sidewalks, and the newest law making it illegal for "gangs" of teens to assemble in any public place, have really made our lives much more enjoyable. I don't have to worry about trying to be cool in a bunch of kids any more, heck, since my friends and I can't do anything outside our own houses anymore we just kick back and watch videos or MTV at home in our free time. I'm sure that'll also help us do well in college and get good jobs later on.
Thanks also, State Gov, for making my school use the Mosaic thingy. Even though I—an honors student, with a job and several extracurricular activities—am now seeing a school counselor every week cuz I am "at risk for violence", just cuz my dad took me target shooting sometimes before guns became illegal here (thanks for that, Town Gov), I know that it's purpose is to protect us from the dangerous kids, and that sometimes good kids get tagged, too. Counseling isn't nearly as much fun as Junior Achievement—I guess my business idea can wait another year—but I understand how just knowing how to handle a gun makes me dangerous.
I also don't hold you guys responsible for the kid who brought his dad's gun into school and killed my best friend and all those others. The metal detectors can make mistakes, Mosaic can make mistakes, and hey, people break laws—it just happens. Without all the laws and protection stuff, he could have done much worse stuff, so thanks for doing your best to protect us, and thanks for being so quick to write new laws to protect us even more. The gun- and drug-sniffing dogs will make school much safer, I'm sure. One question, though, if the random urine testing of school kids goes through, does it really mean that I'll have to stop eating poppy seed bagels? That's my favorite breakfast, and it'd really suck not to be able to snarf 'em for the rest of the school year.
Speaking of school, I really want to thank the School Board, administrators, principal, vice- principals, school psychologists and counselors, and the teachers for all their hard work to educate me. There are so many of you compared to us kids that I feel lucky to have you working so hard on my education. The remodeling of the administrative offices sure looks nice. When will be getting those new textbooks that the school levy was passed for, by the way? Having a history book that stops right after we got a man on the moon is kind of a bummer, you know? I want to know what other great things our government did in space between then and the space shuttle; I'm sure there are lots of them.
Uhhh, this letter is getting way to long, and I've barely gotten to all the stuff I wanted to say, so I'll just mention a few more things here. Thanks for kicking out that student who gave her friend a Tylenol. Zero tolerance means zero tolerance, and if people start acting like they're above the law, well, the law won't mean anything. And thanks for not publishing the editorial in the school newspaper that criticized you, Mr. Principal, for expelling her, and that supposedly called for a protest. How can us students learn anything if we have stuff like that to read in the paper? I heard that the student editor was really pissed, and claimed that his "first amendment rights" were violated. What did he mean by that? Do you think his parents actually let him read the Constitution and Bill of Rights? If so, I think that's a shame…that they don't trust the school to educate him. Besides, everyone knows that parents can't teach kids; teachers have to be certified and tested by the government. The new dress code really makes a difference, too, I do kinda miss seeing some of the cool t-shirts, but I really don't mind the scratchy polyester skirt, nor the medicine I have to put on my legs to keep my rash from it under control. It's worth it to keep me safe from nasty words and ideas. Most of all, thanks school, for teaching me how good we have it, and how I have to do my part to keep our great system working for future generations.
Anyway, BIG thanks to everybody at Federal Gov, State Gov, and Local Gov, and all your bureaucratic dudes, for all that you do too make this country great! Looking back on this letter, I realize how fortunate I am to live in such a free country, and to have such a great school taking such good care of me. Hey, Pres and Congress, can you pass some more laws to make sure that I'll be as protected out in the "real world" as I am now? To me, it looks like a scary place out their, and without you all telling me what's safe to eat and drink, what I can and can't do, and how to dress and where to go when, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it all.
Happy holidays from your satisfied citizen!
Sirlee Yughoak, high school senior
[/quote]
------------------
John/az
"The middle of the road between the extremes of good and evil, is evil. When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!