Good Morning, Tompayne,
Right now, we're rowing in the same boat. I'm fixin' to pick up a dedicated concealed carry weapon.
You're gonna get lots of opinions. While helpful, with darn near 100% accuracy, they're not going to be helpful to you. We're all different. We have have different needs.
Here's my take: a concealed carry handgun is your last resort for saving your life. You can't run away, you can't hide: you have to fight to live.
The distance between you and a bad guy who wants you at room temperature will be 10' or less. That doesn't leave many options. A bad guy with his heart in shreds will still live 8 seconds, more than long enough to room temperature you. If the distance between a bad guy and you is favorable, run away as though you're running into Kate Upton's arms.
If you're confronted by a bad guy, expect at least another bad guy in the vicinity. That means you'll be up against a ratio of 2:1, or 3:1. A ratio of 1:1 is bad odds for the good guy.
At 10' or less, if your gun jams, you're probably looking at becoming property of your county's corner. Therefore, buy the best damned handgun you can afford. Never go lesser quality on anything designed to keep you paying taxes.
For self-defense, nothing beats a good semiauto. I know that there are exceptionally good-quality wheel guns. And in a 1:1 scenario, and a good guy sportin' a revolver chambered for .38 Special +P or better has a better than decent chance of living to tell cops his heroic tale. However, revolvers take a long time to reload five or six more rounds. Worse, you'll have to take your eyes off of a bad guy who's putting rounds on you in order to assure rounds in your speed loader align with chambers of your revolver's cylinder. Keeping in mind that self-defense is a very personal decision, you gotta go with what'll work best for you.
I can reload a semiauto in lest than half the time it takes to reload a revolver, and I can keep my eyes on my adversary(ies) while I'm reloading.
In the revolver failures that I've experienced, they were all catastrophic, meaning I was out of the fight. Nealy all semiauto malfunctions can be cleared in a second or less.
The best and most reliable handgun I own is a semiauto, and that includes Smith & Ruger revolvers.
As far as cartridges go, remember that you're choosing one that will accord you maximum opportunity to save your life. While I don't want to digress to a cartridge debate, for me, the FBI load is minimum for saving my life. But I don't like minimum except for taxes, so I'd rather have a .40 S&W. I'd prefer a .45 ACP, but even scaled down versions of the 1911 are heavy.
While I have enough LE ammo to last me the rest of my life, I don't get nutted up over hollow points, esoteric ammo (Cor-Bon, etc), and other gimmick ammo (frangible). If I'm using 230 grain ball, I'd expect it to weigh 230 grains when recovered.
The FBI load I prefer when carrying a .357 Mag for bipedal self-defense is .38 Special 158 LSWC +P. I'm OK with the HP version of the FBI load, but I prefer the LSWC version. I've carried .45 ACP 230 grain ball and never felt the least bit slighted. I'd carry 180 grain ball ammo in a .40 S&W and feel just as good were I carrying the latest version of Exceptional Expansion ammo from Acme Ammo and Casket Company. This rule does not apply to LE ammo.
I've never relied upon any hollow point to flower like advertisement mushrooms. Life seems to get in the way. If you have to shoot through a barrier to stop a bad guy, your wife might just be receiving flowers and consolation. I'd rather have penetration than expansion. Unless a bad guy's CNS is decommissioned, you're gonna have to reduce his blood pressure to zero yesterday to assure that he'd stop putting rounds on you. That means rapid blood loss.
I live by Gunfighting Rule 1: The only assured way of surviving a gunfight is to not get in one.
Rule 2: if Rule one is unavoidable, don't get shot. If you were to find yourself in gunfight, it'll be because a bad guy wants you dead. That sounds worse than rap "music", which is why I'll always go with Rule 1.
There's a damned good chance that I'll be buying a Sig P-239 very soon. It will be in .40 S&W because I already own a .40 & I don't own a 9MM. I don't want to complicate stuff if I don't have to. If I buy it, and I think that my contact will have my back, I'd be good with either LE ammo or ball ammo. The ammo ain't as important as 100% handgun reliability. A round that won't fire due to handgun malfunction is harmless.
Buy the best quality handgun you can afford. Its intent is to save your life. Buy your wife or girlfriend cubic zirconia. Buy yourself the best quality handgun you possibly can. After all, how much is your life worth? Besides, what are the odds that she'll figure out that the ice she's sportin' is zirk? Prepare a good line of self-defense if she were to catch on, or at least practice ducking so you won't take one on the chin.
I know that this will constipate some posters: I would never consider anything less powerful than a 9MM/.38 Special +P for saving my life. As I've written, I'd prefer a .45 ACP, but they're heavy guns. The irony is a 1911 is one of the easiest guns to conceal. But if a poster is good with a .380 Auto, who the heck am I to tell him he's wrong? He knows what's right for him. I think that were I lucky to hit a guy who's putting rounds on me, I'd want to inflict max damage with that one hit.
One last thing: bad guys who are under the influence of myth & PCP require "advanced strategies," for lack of a better term. In other words, normal physiological responses don't apply to them. Besides that, they look like reptiles molting year 'round. You can spot 'em by dead skin trails on the ground or listening for their teeth to bounce of tile or concrete. Dusters' eyes bounce like dice tumbling down a craps' table. Stay as far away from tweakers (myth) and dusters (PCP) as possible.
Remember this fact: if you die, you'll lose. That's why Rule 1 is so damned important.
Best of luck to you & stay safe.